SO SAD...

I have a lot to blog about... my recent trip, my daughter's first bridal shower.

But I can't.

I'm just to sad.

We had to have our sweet little Millie (or Minnie as she was more often called) put to sleep.

She got sick Wednesday morning, and I took her into the vet.  After a ton of tests and a night in the doggie ICU, and another in the regular hospital, it was determined that she had severe pulmonary hypertension.  Like high blood pressure?  Not exactly.  Not a good thing for a dog.  Possibly caused by her collapsing trachea problem or perhaps from throwing a clot into her lungs.. they weren't sure.  Either way, same treatment with the same ending......

The prognosis wasn't good, but all 3 of the vet's on the case felt that it was manageable, with good quality of life for a while.  So home she came on Friday.

Friday night she took a turn for the worst and there was only one choice.  The choice I hate more than anything.  But, I couldn't let her suffer.

I went.  I've never gone before for the euthanasia.  I wouldn't hesitate again.  It was peaceful and I was there for her. It was the greatest gift I could give her. Peace.

And now, I am a mess.  I miss her silly personality, her excitement when I came in, bringing me her toys, and her hoarse little bark. Clementine is sad, bewildered and verklempt. She misses her too. 

I am an ugly cryer.  Some women are beautiful when they cry... me...Really ugly. I am sad, and I look like I went a few rounds with Mike Tyson. 

Actually, I feel like I did too.