LIFE.....

Let me start by saying, I should be on an airplane to Italy tonight. The Amalfi coast, for our 30th anniversary.

I'm not. I'm home. Being a nurse for my son, whom I can thank God is alive.

Sunday morning we got the knock no parent ever wants. I, of course didn't hear it, but Mark did, got up and came down to see who was at the door. It was a police man. He had the lovely job of telling us our son had been involved in an ATV accident. A serious ATV accident, and was on his way in a helicopter to a trauma center.

Mark came up stairs and woke me with the horrific news, that Corbin had '3 brain bleeds and a broken spine'. I reacted as any mother would~ beginning to cry and shake. From somewhere I got it together enough to get dressed, run wet hands through my hair and get ready. We jumped in the car and began the longest drive of our lives.

The hospital is only an hour away, but it felt like days. Days of terror. Would he be alive, if he was alive, would he be brain dead, would he be paralyzed, would he know us? And an overwhelming fear that I would have to make the decision no parent should EVER have to make. To unplug my child. God wouldn't do that to me would he? That doesn't happen to people like us.... but yes, it does. Just one week prior, a girl I went to school with had to make that decision for her 19 year old daughter. In the same hospital. The same ICU.... I wanted to turn my mind off. Then we saw a hearse. That was the final straw and I totally came apart.

We finally arrived, to our handsome, healthy, fun loving son, unconscious, a bit battered and hooked up to too may tubes, on a ventilator in the ER. He was being moved to the Neuro ICU. After talking with the trama Dr. we found out that he did indeed have a skull fracture, with 3 bleeds, but that it hadn't changed since he left the other hospital. That was a good thing. We also learned that his 'spine' wasn't broken, it was a couple vertebrae knobby things cracked. And there were 3 broken ribs.

There was no response from him to our arrival. We learned that he was sedated, and they would unsedate him every hour. That hour finally rolled around. He opened his eyes, and when I asked if he knew who I was, he shook his head. Thank you God.

As the day wore on, every time they unsedated him to do the neuro checks he seemed to be a little more engaged. By the time the last one we could be there for (they actually kicked us out) he was quite awake. Awake enough to make the write motion and the text motion. The nurse said not to let him write, as it is too aggravating, but I finally did... he wrote 'what'? He remembered NOTHING of the accident. Then he began circling his face with his hand. The nurse asked if something hurt? He shook his head no, I said, face.... ah...your face is fine. There was a little hint of a smile and a thumbs up. That's my vain son!! Worried about his handsome face!

Monday the vent came out- thank you, and he could talk. Still very groggy and sleeping but we could actually hear him make sense. And that was wonderful.

Late Tuesday they moved him out of the ICU into a regular room. And late last night, Wednesday,(like 8:30) they DISCHARGED HIM. I. AM. SERIOUS.

What is wrong with this picture? Yes, he is very lucky, and responding well, but the severity of his injuries? C'mon... so here I am. Watching him sleep and worrying about whether the headache he's complaining about is serious enough to warrant a trip to the ER.

This boy is running out of his nine lives. This mother is aging at an accelerated rate. Some thing has got to give here. I'll follow up with what's going on as I can, it's a hard job being Nurse Ratched.